10 inch stilettos, what a Fucktard.

And shame on the stupid cows who wore these down the runway, endangering themselves. A girl could get killed falling off these. Is it really worth your idiotic career to take that chance?

Not me! I’m fucking brilliant compared to my son and his idiot friends.

First there was the M-girl that was so trashed by the time they arrived in Vegas that she sliced the shit out of the back of her leg while shaving and then passed out cold in our hotel room.

Then there’s my son who disappeared for hours with the only vehicle, coming back late and with an empty tank so CJ and I despaired getting to the airport in time.

Then there was (again) my son who decided to stay with the bunch instead of flying safely home with me.

After that, there was the idiot B who drank beers while driving the van homeward, got busted in Kingman for a DUI and got the van impounded. Because my son was also too drunk to drive and apparently those two of the 6 were the only ones with driver’s licenses.

Those four other people who for some stupid reason don’t have driver’s licenses. How stupid is to NOT have a driver’s license?

The one who called me and got pissed off that I wouldn’t drive up there and save them. From their own stupidity.

(Let me clarify, had they had car trouble or an accident or something else out of their own control, I would have gone to get them.)

Oh, and the drunk ass driver and his wife who left their kids at home with her parents and let the power run out instead of putting extra cash on the m-power. Priorities, right?

They got B out of jail late this afternoon and because the van is in his name they couldn’t get it out of impound before closing time. So they’re stuck there another night.

Life lesson #54. Don’t fucking drink and drive doubledumbass! What a bunch of fucking losers.

Repeat after me: “That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”

Alltel does NOT have coverage in Las Vegas. Las Fucking Vegas! One of the biggest tourist cities in the US, and I roamed the whole time.

Alltel does NOT have coverage on the entire island of Oahu. Goddamn Honolulu! Again, one of the top tourist places in the US.

Check out their “coverage map” if you can see it. Isn’t that special. Can’t enlarge it, can’t get anything specific, and their color options make it impossible to see the actual differences.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t have service in Atlanta either. Can’t remember.

I did find a way to run Internet on my laptop through my mobile (something called PdaNet) and it worked okay, but at roaming prices it would have probably been cheaper to get the WiFi from the hotel. Guess I’ll find out when the bill is due.

I’m telling you the whole thing was a drag right up til they called her name.

Overcast sky all day we were hoping would hold. No such luck. Just before I got there (an hour early in order to find parking and seating) it started sprinkling. As more and more families were crammed into the stands at the school’s football field the rain continued. Umbrellas fighting for space, too. The old bat in front of me had one of those six foot golfer umbrellas that drained right onto my lap. Not to mention the drunk ass father and grandfather that showed up 5 minutes before the thing started and bitched the whole time about getting wet. Shut up asshole, we’ve been here for HOURS. What ever happened to chivalry, where the menfolk sat in the rain holding seats while the ladies waited comfortably whilst sipping cocktails in the car?

Eventually, yet right on time they started the Commencement. 805 graduates filed ceremoniously down the football field. In the rain. Then there was the standing for the pledge and the longest and most elaborate version of the Star Spangled Banner (I swear they added verses) followed by some slow convoluted America the Beautiful. Just long enough to gather puddles in our seats. Joy.

I was soaked and I had an umbrella! Most of those kids didn’t. But they were cheerful and excited, starting waves when the speeches (of which there were too many considering the weather) ran too long. There were teachers and staff at the end of each row confiscating the beach balls that periodically popped up. Spoilsports.

Finally after an hour of (I’m sure very nice and well thought out speeches and music) droll they started calling names, and it took another half an hour before they got to Ginnie’s. People waited til their kid’s name was called and cheered and then promptly left the stadium. By the time my Walker kid was up, our little group was in a wide open space in the stands so she could see us cheering her.

And by the time I made my way to the back of the field they’d flipped their tassels and the families were let in and she found me before I could find her. She was sooo happy and excited and relieved to have it all over. And soaked.

Why do they line those caps in cardboard? Wouldn’t a slim sheet of plastic be just as cheap and yet hold up better to the elements?

A few hugs and pics later (no dumbass me forgot her camera, I’ll have to wait to get copies from Ashley’s mom) she made that phone call and shit went downhill fast.

And just about the time I was trapped in the mass exodus in the parking lot, the rain stopped. Figures.

So why does advertising seem to believe that we’re ALL too stupid to be able to mop correctly, dress properly, take out our trash or get through the day without their product?

Already this morning (on the radio while taking Ginnie to school) there was an advertisement from AAA talking about some guy on the road blows a tire and calls his insurance company to send someone out to fix it. Who calls their insurance company to change a flat? Two hours later the tow-truck guy informs him that his flat isn’t covered because he borrowed his girlfriend’s car. If he’d had AAA they’d have covered it AND been out there within minutes! Eventually he’s on his way to the wedding where (ding dang dong) he’s there before the bride enters.

First of all, what kind of a man (or woman) can’t change their own goddamn flat tire? Especially if you’ve been waiting TWO HOURS for help to arrive. But the guy’s already a jackass if he borrowed his girlfriend’s car and didn’t take her to the wedding with him.

That commercial was followed by another one about stupid people but I missed most of it while ranting about the first one.

I’m sick of the dirty mop – slopped bucket – frazzled woman commercials. I hate those trash bag splitting ads. I’m planning to compile a list of companies and products that run ads that make people look stupid so their product can save the world. That way I can have my own personal boycott party.

1. AAA

And while we’re at it, can we stop with the Burger King creepy guy? The latest Spongebob tie-in “I Like Square Butts” hip-hop thing is just too creepy for words.

The hulu commercial where Alec Baldwin says they are aliens and want to eat our brains? PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IS TRUE WTF http://is.gd/ssvv

So of course I go to see what she’s talking about.

HuLu, A Quantum Leap in Electronic Mind Control & Manipulation

ahem

All right, points 1-3 seems to be factual. I’m sure if I cared I could research them I’d find them to be relatively true. #4 is a bit tilted, though. I’m starting to giggle.

5. These “electromagnetic fields” are capable of MIND CONTROL PROGRAMMING of specific individuals. It is even possible to cause PHYSICAL ILLNESSES by this method — including flu symptoms, heart attacks, or strokes.

6. A specific digital frequency can be customed designed to be sent to the end user of HuLu to produce a specified physical event. All that is needed for the computer to design this frequency is a sample of the victim’s DNA.

Muahahahahhahahahhaha.

Conspiracy theorists.

I cannot imagine living my whole life in such fear of EVERYTHING. Although the header on that site says:

Educate-Yourself
The Freedom of Knowledge, The Power of Thought

If you look at the titles of the articles underneath the header, you’ll see they’re a bunch of … nutsos morons whack-jobs unfortunate crazy people.

But funny! They’re goddamn funny! And I’m not even talking about their atrocious spelling and grammar.

Besides the woman who just came to my door, I mean.

Cuz, you know, acknowledging the plaque and yet continuing with your speech might just win me over. And saying that you “completely understand about those door-to-door preachy types” while holding out a pamphlet with a CROSS on the cover on the off-chance it doesn’t include you? Simpering that YOU are only handing out invites to a local church while my half-polite smile fades and doesn’t excuse you.

Yes ma’am, this sign applies to you too. Door slam.

If you don’t want me to be rude to you, don’t cross my line.

Oh wait, is that a twinkling of methodist fervor I feel washing over me? Nope, just gas.

Sister’s daughter Brittany (the only one of that family I actually have contact with) is due in a couple of weeks. Though I’m getting reports that she may deliver earlier as everything seems to be in perfect arrangement for it. She’s planning on naming her son Damien Gabriel. Interesting and yet spelled within normal limits. We laugh that he could turn out either way, evil or good. I don’t know if she’s planning on using her real last name (Stephens) or the one she goes by (Kinney) or the father’s last name (I’m clueless).

Mom was upset she was specifically uninvited to Brittany’s baby shower. Poor Brittany had to chose between her selfish bitch mother or her whiny obtuse Grandmother. What nice people I come from. And her perpetually broke Aunt Debbie wasn’t even mentioned.

Whatever.

_________________________

This Wednesday is Ignite Phoenix. It’s organized by friends of mine and the whole program consists of 5 minute/20 slide presentations of whatever you’re passionate about. As long as you’re not selling something. I think Jeff said there were 18 presentations this time. The last two IPs were at GoDaddy’s local offices but we’ve outgrown that venue and this time it’s at Tempe’s new Center for the Arts. Lots of people have been wanting an excuse to check out that venue so it should be pretty packed.

Friday night #evfn (East Valley Friday Nights) is meeting at Studios 5C Gallery in Tempe. I love #evfn. It’s our local twitter meetup every Friday night at a different location throughout the east valley and it’s expanded beyond twitter people. We’re averaging 45 people so it’s getting harder and harder to find places that can accommodate that many people. Apparently this one is sponsored (free food and drink). A couple of weeks ago we held it at a brand new W hotel called “aloft” and they provided a tour and a drink/bar snacks at their lobby lounge “w xyz”.

(I don’t know about this trendy naming shit with all lower case letters. I feel like I need to show they’re proper names somehow.)

And Saturday night is booked, too. I’m not sure if I can talk about that til it’s over but I have lots to do to get ready for it. I have PLANS. Think Mardi Gras and boobs.

I’ve got Kira today and she’s whining for second breakfast. I’m yelling YOU JUST ATE over her screeching and she ain’t buying it. Pause goes Gullah Gullah – which usually shuts her up. Consequences for whining. Let Grammi finish her stupid post and she’ll get you a snack. Patience grasshopper.

But . . .

If you’re going to commit to a cause, especially one with such simple guidelines and instructions, do it as asked. Don’t add your own cute little embellishments, your own personal thumbprint, your cute little whatthefucks.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? That’s okay. Go here: http://creativefreedom.org.nz/blackout.html

They simply ask that if you want to be supportive, change your internet avatars to black and post why along with the link. Period. Does that sound difficult to you? Nope, me neither.

And then wander Facebook and twitter and other social sites, and see what SOME people feel is commiting to the cause. Adding their own person “brand” to a black background? What the hell is that? First of all, people seeing your internet avatars on Facebook and twitter already fucking KNOW you so you don’t have to advertise. Secondly, the whole thing is over at the end of the month. Do you really have to personalize your black avatar? So stuck on yourselves that you can’t let it go for a few days? Ever heard of the saying Lip Service? Dunno what you’d call it online.

If you’re going to play along, then play along. If you don’t believe anything will come of it and it’s all just a waste of time, then fine, don’t play along. Whatever you decide is up to you, but if you’re going to play along THEN FOLLOW THE FUCKING DIRECTIONS.

Seriously, I don’t know why this is bugging me so much but I feel better now. I posted a couple of comments on twitter earlier. A couple of my friends are doing this half-assed and I thought veiled snark would maybe change their mindsl.

I thought the whole idea behind the blackout was to have a completely blacked-out avatar. Not to be cute about it. http://is.gd/jDKz

I think it’s like embroidering your logo on a pink ribbon. Why bother pretending to be supportive when you’re just paying lip service.

We’ll see if this makes any difference. If not, oh well. Tomorrow is another day. Oh wait, it’s after 12. Today is another day.

A. I don’t believe there is a God.

B. Even if it turns out there is one, she certainly isn’t posting on twitter.

So yeah, today I clicked back over to the guy’s twitter page and found these posts to me. Cuz I’ve blocked him I didn’t get them through my twhirl and hopefully neither did anyone else I know. What a jerk!

@spellwight Apologies, but atheists all at least become agnostics right before death. You may hate me but I still love you.

Can I hate the clueless person using twitterberry? Oh yes! More and more each moment. Can I hate the so-called Loving God? Can’t hate what you don’t believe even exists. And could you maybe prove that little last-minute conversion theory of yours?

@spellwight I read the complete authorship. I am saddened by the circumstances. I will always be with you.

Can you say obtuse? Some people.