Posts tagged mom
Vacation: What Else We Did
Dec 14th
Spent a couple of days at Dad’s until I just couldn’t stand the fleas anymore. Poor old guy. For whatever reason they don’t bite him so he didn’t notice how bad it was. I have flea bites on both legs and arms and across my chest. And Casey had to repair the toilet in the back bathroom too. Dad never uses it so the old thing just crumbled from the strain of all of us. Apparently all the guts just disintegrated.
- Dad is watching Hannity. I get extra points for keeping my mouth shut.
We’ve never agreed politically. We just don’t talk about stuff because every time he opens his mouth I cringe and laugh and he’s so damned serious about his opinions! Republicans.
We spent a couple of days at Mom’s too. She mentioned she had a TV in the trunk of her car so Casey tried to install it for her, but she decided that flat screen wasn’t big enough so they traded up. This comes from a woman who is so old school she never even had a VCR. Oh right, there was a new DVD player to hook up too. And what is the only DVD she bought in preparation for it?
- Someone kill me. Mom is jamming to Gaither Gospel Hour Christmas in the Country. Seriously, how did I come from these people?
Mom likes gospel. When the fuck did that happen?
We went back to Dad’s to finish up fixing the toilet:
- My father has provided my children with moonshine. Things are getting more interesting.
Strange night. Dad was uptight that I’d posted that and I tried to explain that anyone who follows me doesn’t care and would cheer them on and that nobody is going to hunt him down for breaking the law. Moonshine law? Who the fuck cares? Casey and Ginnie weren’t impressed by it anyway so after one drink we left. No, I didn’t try it.
As tourists, we went to the beach and watched these guys try to dig out a backhoe that had tipped over. Kira played (hands and feet) in the cold gulf water until she turned blue and we finally left. The next day we went to Mote Marine and saw sharks and turtles, jellyfish and a dead giant squid, manatees and dolphins. Kira’s convinced the dolphins were talking to her. Driving to Mote we passed some sand sculptures that had been there a while. Lots of pictures in my flickr feed so check those out.
Did another elderly breakfast thing. You have to do one of these sometime. You sit at long tables and eat stale donuts while they do park announcements, introduce visitors, sing some old songs and raffle off prizes. Three of them. Casey won $7 and Ginnie and I both won SBA dollars. Luck of the draw! Quaint. Casey went out to Bingo with Mom one night and to a casino on another.
The kids think Mom is great! She’s funny and nice and pays for everything, but they don’t have the history I do. Can I forgive and forget the years of verbal and physical abuse, being told everything I do is wrong and stupid, the sarcasm… and just accept her as she is now? I don’t know. My sister holds a grudge like nobody’s business but when it’s convenient for her she acts like nothing happened. I don’t think I hold a grudge as much as hold people accountable for their actions. If they own up I’m all about forgiveness. Food for thought.
Bill is the same, blows up in nastiness at the slightest provocation, hates black people, yells at Mom over his own inadequacies, etc. She keeps saying this or that food will kill him and I keep suggesting she let him eat whatever the hell he wants, preferably that which will kill him, hello?
- Raining again. The so-called sunshine state has sucked for sunshine this whole trip.
- Son, convinced Krystal is White Castle, has sidelined us in a cheeburger frenzy. After tasting, I’m not impressed.
- Interesting name for a salon: Whack-A-Do.
- 24 miles and we’re in Louisiana. Kids are debating New Orleans on a Friday night. It’s 40 degrees and raining so I vote no.
- 100 miles to Texas. Can’t wait! I just LOVE Texas! /sarcasm
- fucking Texas has the women’s potty locked for the night.
- Found potty. Switched drivers. At mile marker 822 now. *sigh*
- I’ll be passing @aranel13’s house in a minute, too early again. Should we kill time til she wakes or fuggedaboudit?
So we left for home on Friday. Casey and Ginnie wanted to stay longer but Kira and I were done and it’s my goddamn car. We tried to meet up with @aranel13 on the way back through the Houston area but apparently she sleeps until noon or something. Hey, it was 8am this time instead of the 6am on the way out but still not late enough. We stopped at the Alamo for a while but drove straight through the rest of the trip.
- I miss my friends. Almost out of Texas and should be home late tonight.
- 50 miles to AZ! So tired. Love having multiple drivers.
- Quick shopping stop for fireworks at Borderline Outlet. Guy closed early so I called him and he reopened. Yay Droid!
- Hello Eloy. You look familiar. I do believe we are getting close to home.
- Home.
Obligation
Aug 4th
ob⋅li⋅ga⋅tion
–noun
1. something by which a person is bound or obliged to do certain things, and which arises out of a sense of duty or results from custom, law, etc.
2. something that is done or is to be done for such reasons:
to fulfill one’s obligations.
3. a binding promise, contract, sense of duty, etc.
4. the act of binding or obliging oneself by a promise, contract, etc.
I’ve been cataloging and making decisions about my own obligations lately. I’m obligated to pay my bills. I’m obligated to make sure my kids are set up in the world, but to what degree? I’m obligated to continue podcast editing, which I actually like doing. I’m obligated to maintain a connection with my mother due to a (not deathbed per se as she wasn’t actually near death just succumbing to Alzheimer’s) promise to my grandmother.
Mom called last night and bitched and moaned about some woman she knows. The woman for all intents and purposes is going senile. I mean, bringing your pillow and blanket to the casino and wearing a bra on your head… these are obvious signs, right? Anyway, Mom feels obligated to entertain the woman’s fantasies, to answer the phone the 437 times a day she calls, to make sure she eats, etc. Why? Because no one else will? How is that your obligation? And once you take it on, does that let everyone else off the hook? Isn’t it your own damned fault for taking on people you don’t have to, so quitcherbitchin. Mom tends to do that, take on needy people and then bitch the whole time. Martyr much?
What obligations should we choose to take on? How many obligations have you taken on in your life that turn into burdens? I know the whole care for your fellow man thing, but when you don’t get anything but misery out of it isn’t it time to let it go?
I’m obligated to pay my bills, but I get something out of that. I’m obligated to raise the children I chose to have, but (and this is what I struggle with) when is that day-to-day obligation over?
This process of finding ME is taking a long time. Shedding obligations is a major part of it and I’m finding it really hard to dump the last few.
You Called Me!
May 15th
** The following is an approximated and condensed version of the conversation I had with my mother last night, 1 am her time.
Phone rings, my mother’s ring tone.
Me: Hello?EM: Is Buck there?
Me: Um, no, he’s not available at this number ever again.
EM: Oh, uh, this is his mother-in … er I mean ex-mother-in-law. Do you know where I can reach him?
Me: And this is your daughter if you don’t recognize my voice by now Mom.
EM: Oh shit, you dumbass! What the hell are you doing?
Me: You called me, Mom. And why am I the dumbass? And why are you calling Buck in the middle of the night?
EM: You didn’t call me for Mothers Day so I thought I’d call you.
Me: Bullshit Mom, I talked to you the day before Mother’s Day and you just dialed my number thinking you were calling my EX HUSBAND.
EM: Mumble mumble sleeping pill, how was your Mother’s Day honey?
So I told her how my day went and she moaned about her bad health and Orc’s bad health and the bills and how bankruptcy didn’t help her a lot and how she was up after taking her sleeping pill and making out bills. Blah blah how are all the kids and about Ginnie’s graduation and so forth.
EM: So what did you do for Mother’s Day?Me: Mom, go to bed. And don’t mail out those bills until you double check them tomorrow.
EM: What, you don’t want to tell me what you did for Mother’s Day?
Me: I already did, which is how I know you really need to go to bed.
I never did find out why she was calling the ex. She always did like him better than me.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |