We’re leaving in a bit to go camping. No computer (ack!) and likely my phone will die before the weekend is out because I forgot my car charger in my car.

And my car is at the repair shop because my 7th cylinder is retarded. Let’s hope that turns out to be a slight and only temporary retardation.

Anyway. Tubing, Strongbow, campfire, tents, the whole shebang. Should be fun… right?

The trip up was just constant. I’d planned on taking my time and exploring a bit, seeing roadside attractions and what-fer. But realistically, I drive like a maniac. I’d pull over long enough to slap together a sandwich or take a nap and then continue on as fast as I could get away with. Completely missed most of Colorado (which I REALLY wanted to see) because it was dark.

Imanidiot.

Actually, with no A/C it was just too hot most of the time. Too hot to stop and wander around, too hot to sleep in the car, too hot. Plus you get to smell more of America than you really want to. I counted 7 skunks in Arizona and New Mexico. Kansas and Nebraska – of which I took mostly back roads – smells like cows shit and corn. Except Omaha smells like chocolate chip cookies… and then dog food.

The stretch between Omaha and Des Moines is some of the most beautiful country I’ve seen. Once I got past the rain, it’s all hills and green and beautiful old but nicely kept farms.

I got here Friday afternoon after spending the night in a room north of Des Moines. I needed a decent night’s sleep and a shower by then. Cara just kept smiling at me. It’s amazing how we only see each other about once a year but it’s just like we’re neighbors. Thank you Internet for such a great friend.

Until she tried to kill me.

Kidding. She’d bought one of those full-sized blowup beds and thought she’d aired it out enough, but not for sensitive old me. I didn’t notice the fumes until I was in it and too tired to venture far. So by morning I was guppying for air and by nightfall I was in the local VA emergency room. Much better now with my own (different brand – no fumes) blowup mattress in my own cat-free room.

Sunday was spent at the Ren Fest. Hot, humid, fun. Hung with Wickedgroovy Heather too. Pictures up on Flickr.

Pretty much vegging this week while she’s at work. It’s nice to just sit, even WITH all the drama going on at home. I can’t do much so they’re all handling their issues on their own. But that’s for another post.

Tonight is my tweetup. I’ll see old friends and spend time getting to know a couple more IRL strangers/virtual friends.

Tomorrow we’ll plan out the weekend which will include tubing, and may include State Fair? Horseback Riding? Camping? Movies? Dunno.

I should probably leave Monday morning. And my hoped-for second half of a vacation… the SEXcation doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. He’s not in Cincinnati anymore and I really don’t want to venture further East. That just make the drive back that much further too. Dammit.

The first weekend I’m going to their Ren Fest.

While I’m in Minneapolis I’m hosting a tweetup, but you don’t have to be on twitter to come. You can see the invite HERE and let me know if you want to join us.

The next weekend we’re going camping. SHF. Sacred Heart Festival? I dunno, she’s all pagan and shit so I think that’s what it is. All I know is there’s probably Strongbow because she’s the one who started me on the stuff.

After that… well… I might be heading a bit more East. I’m not sure yet. The person I want to see isn’t sure about his plans yet. Maybe.

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This is funny. People keep alternating between calling me an idiot for wanting to drive and suggesting places for me to check out on the way. I want to drive. I want to see some of this country and this is as good a time as any. I know I’ll likely be tired and sore, but I seriously HATE flying so much I’d rather drive. I’m hoping my car will get me through all right.

So fine, here goes. I’m planning a road trip to Minneapolis from Phoenix in late August. I really don’t have a schedule so I’m flexible. I just want to be there in time for my friend’s birthday at the end of that month.

If you live on this highway path and have  a couch or spare guest space (and preferably don’t have cats) and wouldn’t mind putting me up for a night, sing out. You can email me or whatever.

Phoenix to Albuquerque or Santa Fe, then through to Kansas City and up to Des Moines. Then to Minneapolis.

Also if you know of some attractions along that route that one shouldn’t miss, I might be interested in that, too. Like I said, I’m not in any hurry but I don’t have a bunch of money to throw around.

Actually, there’s another route more through Colorado and Nebraska than through Kansas, so if you’re on that route it works too. Sounds prettier (Kansas has to be booooorrrrring) and just about the same total miles.

And snowcalla posted that I flashed an Amish guy. No way! Firstly, I didn’t see any Amish people all day and Secondly, that guy was wearing plaid shorts and barely glanced up (double-take actually) as we floated by topless. Okay, *I* was topless. But boy are my boobs roasted. After we changed clothes in the car we stopped at another place for lunch (elk burger – another meh) and headed back before the rain. Cara’s hubby brought home pizza for dinner and I didn’t care for that either. I suppose after how many days of interesting and excellent food I was due for an off-day.

We watched V for Vendetta last night. I never saw that movie before. Natalie Portman might actually become a real actress someday. This was the best I’ve seen her do.

Tomorrow is the SPAM museum. I can hardly wait.

Cara's koi pond

Flew into Minneapolis Wednesday on US Air. First I didn’t have a seat because stupid me forgot to check in early online. Then I was stuck in a window seat next to poor Mr. Morthan Chubby who had gas. But other than that the flight wasn’t bad. Got to MN and there was my good friend (snowcalla ) Cara! Long drive back to her house in Austin  where I met and hugged her hubby. Actual roast dinner. Beautiful backyard. Through that night and the next morning I saw little things I’d forgotten northern nature had over the desert.

One bunny, fireflies, huge squirrels and green green green. MN reminds me of Michigan. Not the shit hole industrial areas I grew up in, but the farms and hills and trees further out of crappy places like Flint and Detroit.

Thursday we meandered back up to the Minneapolis area around Bloomington and Edina – and stayed in a suite at a Marriott Residence Hotel (where I had my own room cuz sometimes I snore) where we met up with (wickedgroovy) Heather. Fireplace and full kitchen meant we didn’t have to go out as much but we still did. We went shopping at Surdyk’s for designer cheeses and other stuff I’d never heard of. Sheila/Evo would love that store.  Registered at CONvergence and wandered the art room and then back to the hotel to get ready to go out.

We’d decided to celebrate our 2009 birthdays together regardless of the fact that they aren’t even close. Started at Bradstreet, a tapas place. I think Tapas is greek for single servings of expensive and great tasting food you’re supposed to share.  I tried new things like fois gras (yuk) and lamb ribs (fuck yeah) and enjoyed the crab cakes I ordered as a safety dinner in case I didn’t like anything else, such as the asparagus, the calamari and the lamb burgers the others ordered. I’m sure the lamb burgers would have been tasty if someone hadn’t decided to dump an entire pepper shaker on each one.

Cara, as always the leader in our expeditions, ordered the drinks. Starting with a Cooper’s Union – beautiful tall glass, Prairie, Lemon, St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur, Grapefruit, Gruet Sparkling, Orange Flower Water – and I made it about a third of the way through that. I think it was the elderflower that turned me off. So Cara told them to bring me something interesting with orange and vodka, which they did and I couldn’t really enjoy that either. Just plain, thanks. That’s me, just plain. Then there was something red and slimy I couldn’t even attempt, so Heather and Cara drank that and I finally got my plain screwdriver. But by then I was pretty toasted.

From there we went to a club at The Chambers Hotel called (I kid you not) The Red White and Fucking Blue Rooftop Lounge, which appeared to be the gay men mecca of the greater north plains states. Seriously. I’m pretty sure there were single hetero men there (because there were couples and groups) but finding one would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Great hopping club, with quick and plenty drinks and an outside area. Lots of conversation areas, a thing I never understood in a club where the music is kept loud. Who can conversate over that? But check out the weird toilet seats. I’ve never seen toilet seats that thin in a ladies room, although when that guy walked in like it was so natural for him I wondered if there even was a distinction between the ladies and men’s.

After Cara finally shed the guy who had latched onto her, we wandered across the street to another club that was virtually empty and had a chocolate dessert. Then upstairs to the rooftop bar. Waited I swear 8-10 minutes for someone to show up behind the bar so we could order drinks. Then some lizard started talking to me, then Heather and finally settled on Cara. Man she can attract them. We dumped him and headed back to our hotel hoping for some hot tub time. No such luck.

Fridayy noonish we headed to CONvergence. Not a big Con and after years of Dragon*Con, we were spoiled. Ran into (Hellziggy) Sharon before I could finish texting her I was there. She showed us around including the free food and drink areas. They hand out free water and soda and tea, and rice. Yup, cups of rice free and a bunch of stuff you can add for flavoring. What a brilliant idea rather than preparation intensive sandwiches and stuff. They had other food as well. And all around the indoor pool area there were party suites assigned to the different groups and tracks to decorate and provide booze at night.

Between the few panels and traipsing the party suites, we hit the dealer’s room where I found two small wooden containers for Casey to put Ed’s ashes in and ran into (EmmasDad) Mike. Back at the hotel we had the casserole Cara brought, drank some Strongbows, snacked on cheeses and fruits, and just hung out. Friday night as we were parking back at the Con there was a huge fireworks display nearby so we got our Fireworks Fix out of the way early. Good thing, Saturday night at the Con was a fiasco and all the fireworks were too far away to actually see.

Kiltlifting

Late Saturday morning we headed over to the Mall of America, had our pictures taken with Dora and Diego, wandered around some more and then headed back to the Con for one panel. Back to the hotel for swimming and hot tubbing and had to sneak the Strongbows in coffee cups. Back to the Con for an attempt to see fireworks, ended up wandering the parties instead.

Somewhere in there we had Heather’s enchiladas, went to Vilification Tennis (throwing insults back and forth which was hilarious – but half the people were improperly miked and you couldn’t hear them), met the Skepchicks ladies, saw Pamela Gay again (she has no clue who I am) and did more shopping and fancy food snacking.

Sunday we packed and headed up to downtown Minneapolis to Loring Pasta Bar for a scrumptious brunch. I can’t remember if I tried anything new there, but I’ll bet I did. I tried so many new things this weekend. Then back down here to Austin to recover. Cara has a wonderful home and yard for quiet recovery.

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Sorry this is so long, but it’s taken me all day so I don’t want to break it up. Tethered to my phone is slow but I can’t seem to access their wifi. I’m here until Friday with plans ahead for tubing and visiting historical points of interest. I am having the best time!

I’m going to Minnesota for 10 days next month to attend CONvergence and get to hang out with my VERY good friends Cara and Heather. You D*C people know them as the ladies I usually stay with there and they come to the good parties with me. This time I’m going to their neck of the woods to check out… Minnesota.

All my bestest friends have cancelled on Dragon*Con so there’s really no reason to go. Oh sure, there are a few other friends I’ll miss (Cat and Taipa and Loren and A and all my author friends and peeps like that) but this trip sounded like more fun.

And it’s like, three weeks from now and I REALLY NEED to get away from the people I live with NOW and not in September.

So, Cara, specifically:

US Airways Flight 351 arriving July 1 at 5:00 pm

US Airways Flight 35 leaving July 10 at 5:55 pm

I can’t bloody wait! Anybody else (fans, friends, folks) who want to get together just email spellwight over at gmail and we’ll set up a meetup of some sort.