When our podcasting friend Joe Murphy died, Tee was the front man for the website and podcast, first to raise money for Joe’s family and then to help fight leiomyosarcoma.

Tee was a founder and one of the first authors to give away their audio books at podiobooks.com.  He’s been recording and giving away his work since.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s also trying to sell his published books. I really like his Morevi series but Billibub Baddings is my favorite. He and Evo wrote the original Podcasting for Dummies.

Plus, he’s a hell of a DJ. And adorable. And sometimes annoying with all that energy. I could bring up positives about Tee all day.

But with the recent passing of his wife Natalie, he’s now also a single father.  The community has come together to help him in one of the few ways we can:

The Boom Effect

We can help take some of the financial pressure off Tee in raising Sonic Boom. Believe it or not, authors aren’t rolling in it. Hopefully we can be as generous to Tee as he is to us. I’ll be donating as soon as I can.

So if you have a few spare bucks you can send along to someone who will definitely need them please do so.

Except Christmas. I got nothing for Christmas but the flu. Then again, I didn’t get anyone else anything either. I may have even had the HiNi flu, I dunno. There was a moment in there I would have gone to the emergency room had I the energy to shuffle out to my car.

So for New Year’s Eve Eve (Wednesday) I decided to take everyone out to Texas Roadhouse. We’d not had a Christmas Dinner, or much of a Thanksgiving either. My number one adopted son Shane and his daughter tagged along too. We had a really great dinner and I agreed to take the two little girls home with me so they could all go out. Peachy.

Yesterday morning the girls and I went to McDonald’s for breakfast and play. They were fighting and whiny and I couldn’t get either father on the phone. Came home and tried to do my business while they continued to fight and whine. Finally at noon the guys stumbled in to get them.

Shortly after that I got a text from Max asking what I was doing the rest of the day.

• Making a dump cake
• Cleaning my kitchen
• Taking a nap to prepare for being up late
• Wrapping the two lousy gifts I managed to get for my friends
• Shower and dress up
• Be at ShEvo’s by 6:30 to record a show
• Party the rest of the night

Not much right? He responded:

can u take an hour outa that and spend it with me? we r gonna get a courthouse marriage today and id like you to be there

WHAT THE FUCK?

Sure his divorce was final earlier this week and I knew he’d been spending most of his time with Shane’s sister… OMG I can’t remember her name! Shit. My bad. I’d only met the girl through a dark car window one time. That’s it. She seems nice enough and I love Shane so I can assume with the same upbringing… I dunno, I’ll have to wait and see, right?

At least I got to be at this wedding. That’s the same judge that Max, Shane and Casey have all stood before for not-so-good reasons but I didn’t see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Small town.

Anyway, on to Sheila and Evo’s for our recording and their party. I’d had trouble since the flu with my breathing whenever I exerted myself and it just got worse and worse all night. By midnight I was being a downer in a really great party and in real guppy distress and my friends were all offering to drive me to the hospital. Fine. I asked Katie and Tyler cuz I have to go downtown Phoenix to the VA and I know Tyler lives the closest and Katie lives near me so it wouldn’t be as inconvenient – plus they hadn’t been drinking.

Technically it was after 12:30 by the time we got to the ER and 3:30 when  got home, but I’m just going to chalk it up as 2009 not letting go. More on that later.

2010 has GOT to be better, right? I feel great this morning!

Twitter just started this listing thing. You can assign the people you follow to various lists. I got about halfway through and gave up.

Certain people are older Internet friends from the McCaffrey boards and BPOI. Some of those I’ve met in real life and a few are actual real friends now.

Certain people I’ve met through podcasting. Some of those I’ve met and are real friends, some are just fans (which is freaky in and of itself) and some I’ll never meet and really have no connection to, but follow because.  A handful are writers I’ve met through podcasting who have become both semi-celebrities and semi-friends.

And then there’s the real life family, friends, kid’s friends, etc.

It’s weird enough when, because of some interesting banter or retweet, person A from list B starts following person R from list D.

Right?

This completely freaked me out today:

Katie Berry is one of my daughter’s friends we’ve known since Kindergarten. Seth Harwood is a published author and podcaster and cute as hell. They cannot know each other! Coincidence has made my mind explode.

________________________________________________________

Kira’s vocabulary has exploded too. In the last few days she’s started say things like, “Just listen to me, LISTEN to me! Be very careful out there so the monsters don’t get you.” She’s so insistent. And today in the car when I asked her if she was going to behave in the store she answered with the most nonchalant “of course” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Casey’s friend Charlie tells me Kira got up at the crack of dawn the other morning and proceeded to (attempt to) wash her dishes.

At this very moment she’s dancing to Funky Town in Shrek 2. I wish my camera had batteries. Crap.

Friday evening there is the usual #evfn. This week we’re back at Studio 5C. It’s a nice little gallery type place with a great patio for socializing and it’s right off Mill Ave if we want to carry on for the rest of the night. Plus, lots of people I kind of know through podcasting (and some I really do know) are gathering this weekend for…

The Deadpan BBQ Saturday afternoon-evening at my friend CJ’s house. Those are always lots of fun, and with no kids around this time I’m pretty sure it’ll be even better than before.  Sunday evening is another Deadpan party, this time at the Tempe Palms hotel.

Tuesday evening I’m helping someone set up their recording studio and Wednesday night is our usual Evo@11 recording at Gangplank.  Friday (11th) I’m going to my friend Dani’s for another “Slumber Party.”  This time it’s a different presenter so we’ll have to see if she’s as funny as the last one.

My Dad turns 73 on the 13th. I wish he didn’t live so far away. He called me today while I was at IKEA so I was a bit distracted, but I had the hardest time explaining to him how my cell phone number stayed the same even though I’d moved. He just doesn’t get it. He wanted my new address so I’m standing there in the middle of the stupid store practically yelling it out for everyone to jot down. I was one of *those* people!

There’s a Brand-X T-Shirt Tweetup the following Thursday night. I’m still debating that one.

On the 18th I’m joining friends for my very first major league baseball game at Chase Field. I’ve never been so I can’t pass up this chance. After that I’ll be going to my very first Rocky Horror Picture Show! Thanks to the light rail I won’t have to do a lot of driving as everything is on the rail.

Yet another Can’t Stop the Serenity showing on the 19th. I don’t care what anyone says, it never gets old. Plus there’s a sing-along to Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, so there!

And Kira’s 3rd Birthday is on the 29th. I don’t know what’s planned for that yet, but I’m sure we’ll do something. She’s excited. Practicing her three finger thing and asking where her birthday cake is already.

Busy, busy month and I’m sure there will be more adds to my calendar as I go along.

Plus that certain someone has said that September is a good possibility for a visit. We don’t communicate much so I’m not sure yet. Everything (except the slumber party) is something I could actually take him along and have fun. We’ll see.

After that I went around the corner from my new apartment to a dive bar called either The Yucca Lounge (all pointers or reviews online call it thus) or The Yucca Tap Room. OMG this will be one of my new favorite hang outs. Imagine karaoke with an actual LIVE BAND. You get up and sing on stage with a BAND. And they’re not bad. One girl absolutely could not sing along. She was so off tempo we were all screaming the proper rhythm at her to no avail. Most of the singers weren’t half bad but it was fun cuz everyone was having such a good time. Tonia did a great job, though we sabotaged her by yelling Birthday just before she started her song, so they played They Say It’s Your Birthday and she had to stand up on the stage and enjoy that attention.

Casey called me a while ago, everyone he went out with last night got arrested except him. Is this a sign of growth? But one of the arrestees left his wife sans car now and she took Casey’s car to work, so now I have to go pick him and Kira up and take him to work. That I’m taking the time to write this first shows you how thrilled I am about that.

Tonight is #evfn at Geisha a Go Go so that should be fun. Sushi? No. I’ll eat before I go, thank you very much. Plus I’m broke again. I think I have enough cash for gas to get there and back. Should have money tomorrow.

Cavaticat, I mailed that package out to you day before yesterday so you should get it soonish. And I don’t care what you all decide to pay. Whatever, just have a good time at Dragon*Con and don’t get stuck in the Weyrfest room ALL the time.

Well, I suppose I should get dressed and get out there. Have a great day!

I have good friends who believe in homeopathy/horoscopes/tarot cards/psychics. I’m not as dead-against these things but I lean towards disbelief. Again, if they find comfort in that stuff and don’t try to convince me, why should I try and debunk them?

I try to stand by “to each his own” for the most part. You start preaching or selling me on your “thing” I’m going to hold my own and/or argue with you. I’m honest enough for that. Mostly I try for the polite smile and nod.

But I also have good friends who are gullible or needy enough to get drawn into some totally bizarre stuff. At what point do I stick my nose in?  When they tithe to their church even when they can’t pay their bills? When they change plans because of some newspaper horoscope? When they follow some charmer to the detriment of themselves and their families?  My MIL watched and sent money to TV evangelists right up to the day she died of emphysema, hoping for a cure. Maybe if she didn’t chain smoke at the same time she might have stood a chance, though I imagine the damage had already been done.  I once had a friend who gave up her family and joined a cult.

When do you intervene for a friend? When do you cross that line and try to save someone who just believes differently than you?

I have one friend who gets threats in her neighborhood just because she believes something different than the norm. She has the right to believe whatever she wants, but just how dangerous are the threats? Should I advise her to hide it for her own safety or support her in her stand? I’ve been supportive thus far, but I sometimes worry.

I have another friend who appears to be falling under the spell succumbing to the charms of someone who tells her what she wants to hear. He’s playing her with ideas that make her feel strong but I think it’s all bullshit. Will her good sense prevail or should her friends step in and stop her?

When someone is doing something blatantly dangerous like hard-core drugs, the decision is so much easier. Of course you step up and try to stop them. But when it’s a belief  the lines are blurrier.

“To each his own” sometimes wars with “those who standy by and do nothing…”

Cara's koi pond

Flew into Minneapolis Wednesday on US Air. First I didn’t have a seat because stupid me forgot to check in early online. Then I was stuck in a window seat next to poor Mr. Morthan Chubby who had gas. But other than that the flight wasn’t bad. Got to MN and there was my good friend (snowcalla ) Cara! Long drive back to her house in Austin  where I met and hugged her hubby. Actual roast dinner. Beautiful backyard. Through that night and the next morning I saw little things I’d forgotten northern nature had over the desert.

One bunny, fireflies, huge squirrels and green green green. MN reminds me of Michigan. Not the shit hole industrial areas I grew up in, but the farms and hills and trees further out of crappy places like Flint and Detroit.

Thursday we meandered back up to the Minneapolis area around Bloomington and Edina – and stayed in a suite at a Marriott Residence Hotel (where I had my own room cuz sometimes I snore) where we met up with (wickedgroovy) Heather. Fireplace and full kitchen meant we didn’t have to go out as much but we still did. We went shopping at Surdyk’s for designer cheeses and other stuff I’d never heard of. Sheila/Evo would love that store.  Registered at CONvergence and wandered the art room and then back to the hotel to get ready to go out.

We’d decided to celebrate our 2009 birthdays together regardless of the fact that they aren’t even close. Started at Bradstreet, a tapas place. I think Tapas is greek for single servings of expensive and great tasting food you’re supposed to share.  I tried new things like fois gras (yuk) and lamb ribs (fuck yeah) and enjoyed the crab cakes I ordered as a safety dinner in case I didn’t like anything else, such as the asparagus, the calamari and the lamb burgers the others ordered. I’m sure the lamb burgers would have been tasty if someone hadn’t decided to dump an entire pepper shaker on each one.

Cara, as always the leader in our expeditions, ordered the drinks. Starting with a Cooper’s Union – beautiful tall glass, Prairie, Lemon, St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur, Grapefruit, Gruet Sparkling, Orange Flower Water – and I made it about a third of the way through that. I think it was the elderflower that turned me off. So Cara told them to bring me something interesting with orange and vodka, which they did and I couldn’t really enjoy that either. Just plain, thanks. That’s me, just plain. Then there was something red and slimy I couldn’t even attempt, so Heather and Cara drank that and I finally got my plain screwdriver. But by then I was pretty toasted.

From there we went to a club at The Chambers Hotel called (I kid you not) The Red White and Fucking Blue Rooftop Lounge, which appeared to be the gay men mecca of the greater north plains states. Seriously. I’m pretty sure there were single hetero men there (because there were couples and groups) but finding one would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Great hopping club, with quick and plenty drinks and an outside area. Lots of conversation areas, a thing I never understood in a club where the music is kept loud. Who can conversate over that? But check out the weird toilet seats. I’ve never seen toilet seats that thin in a ladies room, although when that guy walked in like it was so natural for him I wondered if there even was a distinction between the ladies and men’s.

After Cara finally shed the guy who had latched onto her, we wandered across the street to another club that was virtually empty and had a chocolate dessert. Then upstairs to the rooftop bar. Waited I swear 8-10 minutes for someone to show up behind the bar so we could order drinks. Then some lizard started talking to me, then Heather and finally settled on Cara. Man she can attract them. We dumped him and headed back to our hotel hoping for some hot tub time. No such luck.

Fridayy noonish we headed to CONvergence. Not a big Con and after years of Dragon*Con, we were spoiled. Ran into (Hellziggy) Sharon before I could finish texting her I was there. She showed us around including the free food and drink areas. They hand out free water and soda and tea, and rice. Yup, cups of rice free and a bunch of stuff you can add for flavoring. What a brilliant idea rather than preparation intensive sandwiches and stuff. They had other food as well. And all around the indoor pool area there were party suites assigned to the different groups and tracks to decorate and provide booze at night.

Between the few panels and traipsing the party suites, we hit the dealer’s room where I found two small wooden containers for Casey to put Ed’s ashes in and ran into (EmmasDad) Mike. Back at the hotel we had the casserole Cara brought, drank some Strongbows, snacked on cheeses and fruits, and just hung out. Friday night as we were parking back at the Con there was a huge fireworks display nearby so we got our Fireworks Fix out of the way early. Good thing, Saturday night at the Con was a fiasco and all the fireworks were too far away to actually see.

Kiltlifting

Late Saturday morning we headed over to the Mall of America, had our pictures taken with Dora and Diego, wandered around some more and then headed back to the Con for one panel. Back to the hotel for swimming and hot tubbing and had to sneak the Strongbows in coffee cups. Back to the Con for an attempt to see fireworks, ended up wandering the parties instead.

Somewhere in there we had Heather’s enchiladas, went to Vilification Tennis (throwing insults back and forth which was hilarious – but half the people were improperly miked and you couldn’t hear them), met the Skepchicks ladies, saw Pamela Gay again (she has no clue who I am) and did more shopping and fancy food snacking.

Sunday we packed and headed up to downtown Minneapolis to Loring Pasta Bar for a scrumptious brunch. I can’t remember if I tried anything new there, but I’ll bet I did. I tried so many new things this weekend. Then back down here to Austin to recover. Cara has a wonderful home and yard for quiet recovery.

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Sorry this is so long, but it’s taken me all day so I don’t want to break it up. Tethered to my phone is slow but I can’t seem to access their wifi. I’m here until Friday with plans ahead for tubing and visiting historical points of interest. I am having the best time!

There’s a certain point where posting my feelings about certain subjects pissed off a few of my “friends” and shows which people are truly friends and which are just shallow contact-counters.  One personal comment about not agreeing with a couple of unnamed friend’s lifestyle choices (which I still maintain I should be allowed to make in my own goddamn journal) blew up into the biggest online battle I’d ever been in. Sides were taken resulting in permanent breaks, and temporary walls happened. But in the long run the people I really consider friends are still around.  And the person I commented about has now discovered I was basically right and has apparently forgiven me and is back to being my friend. But I’m still gun-shy about expressing my feelings, even in my personal space. I’d love to be more supportive about what she’s going through now, but you know… once bitten, twice shy.

My readership has expanded by leaps and bounds over time and the chances that a general comment about someone specific won’t ring as many bells as it once would. Who know.

I even have to be more careful about I say about my own family. This used to be where I could let out all my anger and disgust and work out the thought processes before confronting family with a more calm and supportive face. Now I don’t know who is reading, who is reporting and who won’t understand THIS is where I say what’s impolite, what I really feel and can’t say aloud and this helps me to be nicer to their faces.

Now that I’m more social in real life, people tell me that I’m too brutal and snarky, that though I have a lot of new friends who like that I’m honest and blunt… I still put a lot of people off.

You know what? Tough shit. If your feelings are so easily hurt by the fact that I may not like something you do (or you AT ALL) that’s your problem. Fuck eggshells. I have a circle of friends who appreciate me, my family is used to how I am and the rest of you can take me as I am. I’m not curbing my comments anymore.

Fair warning.

Thank you Jonathan Coulton.

I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said I’m sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast
Began to sing

And he sang
Ooh ooh child, what’d you think the cold winter’s gonna last forever?
Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people to get together
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

I thanked him for the information
I cried a little when he flew away
I watched an episode of The People’s Court
And I tried to plan my day
I called up my old lady
She wasn’t home so I called my girl
I asked her if she’d like to join me as I
Entertain the world

And I said
Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it when we’re taking each other’s pants off
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

So we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
We met all kinds of people and we
We fucked everyone
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei
Everyone who needed fucking well they
They got fucked today

So come on
Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

I didn’t want a HUGE amount of people, so I was pretty careful to whinny the guest list to just our most entertaining and party happy friends, half of whom didn’t show up. I should have been less discriminating I guess.

I think the people who did show up had fun. I had a blast! It was Hawaiian themed because I actually have a Hawaiian dress. So I got lei-ed and lei-ed people all night. Sheila attempted her first red velvet cake but it ended up being more brown than red. I was happy she tried, despite the end result. Keesha brought SPAM truffles and SPAM in a blanket.

And I got lots of Strongbow.  And birthday cards with hot men on the cover. And Sea Monkeys.