Posts tagged dreams
I have no gaydar
Feb 27th
Seriously, unless they’re flaming with feather boas (or some other obvious indicator) I never seem to pick up on it.
Not that it matters to me either way. Whatever floats your boat you know.
It’s just that… I have a wild fantasy life… I often (more often than I probably should) make up entire scenarios about various men I know or see or pass on the street. That’s a lot of energy to waste on the few that will never follow through… not that any will ever follow through but a girl has to dream, right?
I mean, men will never know what’s going on in my head. I don’t act like I’ve set up an elaborate fantasy involving him and I in wild animalesque ballets of sex…
unless you’re reading this now
in which case I don’t mean YOU! It’s that other guy… or maybe it was you. Whatever.
The point is, even though nobody will ever know who I fantasize about, I’m still embarrassed when I find out he’s gay. Even though it’s all in my head, I feel like I’ve just been slapped and not in a good way.
There was a really attractive gentleman that came to #evfn last night. Completely out of my league – which makes him prime fodder for starring in my latest mental pornplay – and I actually asked our mutual friend if the fella was married or gay just so I wouldn’t waste my energy on him. Mental energy that is, because there certainly hasn’t been anyone my own age returning any interest in actual playing around.
Maybe I should write some of these out?
My bonk list
Sep 13th
We were chatting on the show the other day and I was asked if I would DO Tim Curry. Uh, no thanks.
My fantasy bonkage-weekend list doesn’t include Tim Curry but it does include:
- Bruce Willis, anytime anywhere. Even now with no hair.
- Nicolas Cage, if I could have had him maybe 20 years ago. Now he’s just kinda creepy.
- Johnny Depp, if he could be Sam from Benny and Joon the whole time. Or maybe Crybaby.
- Viggo Mortensen, but only as Aragorn. The real guy, not so much.
- Scott Cohen. Wolf was adorable. And an animal.
- Al Pacino, though he’s getting pretty old. Shave off a few years.
- Bruce Willis, (again, again)
- Dane Cook would be fun
- Matthew McConaughey – all day
- Richard T. Jones always made my toes tingle
- Vin Diesel, oh yeah
- Adam Baldwin at least once
- Nathan Fillion, but I actually just want to hang out with him more than bonk him, though I wouldn’t turn down the chance to do both.
I’ll quit for now. I’ll be (alone) in my bunk unless Bruce Willis knocks on my door.
I killed @tdhurst
Sep 4th
I woke up this morning with a serious WTF?
I dreamed that I was taking a loaded crossbow (???) away from Kira and accidentally shot Tyler Hurst as he was breaking into my house. And then because I know Tyler, I knew the cops would never believe that it was an accident or that he would break into my house. So Ginnie and I figured out we needed to move his car (I don’t even know what he drives) and had to get the keys out of his pocket after I yelled at his dead body to get off my couch. We bleeped the cars on the street until we found his mustang hatchback (???) and drove off trying to find the perfect dumping place. Everywhere we drove there were people to notice and finally I was in a car accident with a garbage truck.
I get the garbage truck because I could hear the one picking up outside when I woke up. But the crossbow? I’ve never even seen a crossbow in real life. And Tyler? Maybe because I like him and I haven’t seen him in a while so he’s been on my mind… but breaking into my house? Sorry I killed you Tyler and then trashed your car, but the interior was already shredded when someone ripped out your stereo and speaker system.