so don't ask if you don't want to know
We are family
Oh, here you are!
Aug 5th
No I didn’t forget ya, I’ve just been busy and distracted. Here’s how the last week went.
Thursday Mom called to tell me my cousin Jackie died unexpectedly. Well not that unexpectedly as I had noticed she was posting hospital testing comments on Facebook. I feel bad that I didn’t pay more attention before it was too late to commiserate. Apparently she went to her local Michigan hospital thinking she was having a heart attack and they sent her to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Nine days later she was gone in her sleep. Something to do with Amyloidosis. I’m clueless about what that is.
Friday night #evfn at Whole Foods was fun. LaDawn and I went to Yucca Tap Room but after a drink and a game of pool I pretty much dumped her there. I had too much to do and didn’t feel well anyhow.
Saturday I spent the day packing the last of my stuff and in the afternoon Casey and bunch came over to move the heavy furniture. They said they’d move it all so I left to go have my…
Debbie’s Naked Pool Party. Seriously. Excellent. Party. I had three ciders and no problem getting naked. Good friends, good party and we even recorded a show during it.
I came home to my new apartment to find that no, in fact they did NOT move everything else after all. So Sunday Ginnie and I schlepped back and forth looking for house keys and then finally packing as much crap as I could into my car before Casey and bunch came back to move the rest…
While I drove to Phoenix to bail Max out of jail. Long story I really can’t go into, but I just paid the bail and left him to find his own way home hours later.
By Sunday night – between the moving and the stress and the humidity and the dust – I was really struggling to breathe so I ended up at the VA emergency room Monday morning. I might post more about that fiasco later. A couple of albuteral treatments and I’m just fine.
Monday night I went over to CJ’s to record their show (the first half is about Star Trek TNG/the second half about their life) about our trip together to SDCC.
I think I finally have my new apartment mostly put together. I need a few things like shelves and plug thingies. Most of the sockets in this apartment are two-prong sockets, which poses a problem in our three-prong electronic world. Easy fix, just gotta do it.
Whew, I think we’re all caught up. SmallChild and her cousin are here and we’re watching Ella Enchanted for I think the 615th time.
Broken ties
Jun 13th
If you’ve known me for a while, you know my lack of relationship with my sister. We were never close, but I took in her daughter years ago when they were having issues in her family. Miss B lived with us for two years. When she finally went home my sister stopped talking to me at all. I never knew why, not that it bothered me all that much. Just a small annoyance. Kinda funny.
You remember my trip to Florida last December. Since then Miss B’s life has gotten even shittier. Scumbag Dan is the root of all her problems – though I don’t let her off the hook entirely. She, like her mother, has continued to choose a man over her child. She’d rather live in hell with him than give him up and get her shit together.
Right now they are living with my mother because she’s not strong enough to kick them out. No matter how much everyone in the family yells at her, she can’t seem to put Miss B out on the street and Scumbag is part of the package. There are still constant excuses why he won’t get a job and continues to suck the life out of everyone around him.
Even though Friday they were served with papers that my sister succeeded in legally severing their rights to their child. The final death nell in my opinion. Now Miss B has absolutely no reason to ever dump the asshole and try. There was no reason for that! Beth could raise that baby and do everything necessary without that final cut-off! My (gag) sister has permanently written off her own child at what, 22 years old? WTF!
I… I would never. Even though That Girl has done what she’s done, every time Casey talks about having her permanently/legally removed from Kira’s life I advise not to. Get the stupid divorce and permanent custody, but don’t take that final step. People change. Especially those in their 20s. There is always someday. If a parent chooses to give up their child, that’s their decision to live with. But to take a child away with no hope of ever getting it back or having any right to any contact is too much.
I’m sad for my niece. Someday she may become the person she could be, but she’ll never be whole. I’m sad for my sister who at her age should know behavior is not permanent and cutting people out has repercussions years later. How does she not remember her own history? I’m saddest about that little boy who will grow up in confusion and anger because his family couldn’t stick together through thick and thin. What lessons will he learn from this?
And with my fucked up family, how did I learn that no matter what these are your children? Even at our worst, I never shut the door, I never cut off my kid, and I never would. Yes there are some times you can say never.
Pride in my kids
Jun 9th
I’m very proud of my kids. All of them. Yes I make comments and sometimes talk about this dumb thing or that bad move, but all-in-all my kids are doing well.
Sure, in the grand world their accomplishments might not make a blip. My kids will likely never be professionals making big bucks. Never be doctors or lawyers or ever wear button-down shirts. But you know what? Who cares.
My oldest son is raising a daughter on his own. He gets up every day and makes sure she’s clean and fed, learns manners, gets exercise and not too much TV.
He talks to her and plays with her and makes sure she’s in good hands when he needs a break. This child is never mistreated. I’m very proud of him as a parent. He’s struggling financially because he can’t find a decent job that will pay enough to put her in a GOOD daycare, so he chooses to stay at home and make the best with what he has. No matter how he’s tried to get his life together, he can’t catch a break. But does he give up on his child? No, she’s his life. He’s a better parent to her than I was to him at the same age.
My second child was recently in the Army where he served his country with pride. 
Now he’s taken a job he hates so he can support his wife. They’re living in a house with two other families and still barely getting by. But he’s not angry or bitter. He just keeps looking ahead and making plans for his future.
My daughter is trying. Her dreams have been sidelined for the moment, but she’s taken steps to get back on course. She’s working and living on her own. 
We’re not a dirt-poor family. I’d say we’ve always tried to stay (at least) lower-middle class. We’re not white trash. We don’t go hungry and we keep up our homes and pay our bills. At the moment all of them are free from legal issues and have drivers licenses and insurance. Hey, this is a huge accomplishment from 5-6 years ago.
All three are taking steps to do online college classes starting next fall. I don’t know if they’ll follow through but I’m proud of them for trying.
In my world they are all accomplished. My kids didn’t have advantages. Yes I expect more, but for now I’m proud of how much they’ve grown. They still make mistakes, but who doesn’t? And though the boys have had problems with the law it was never anything serious. Stupid shit but never hurting other people. They’re all GOOD people always willing to help each other and their friends when they can.
I love my family.
