Stuff I forgot to itemize

What I mean is…

Years ago I went through the Social Security Disability process and ended up needing a lawyer. Actually most people are denied the first time through so it’s not so unusual. We met once with a lower-level associate or whatever, but didn’t meet the actual lawyer until like 2 minutes before we walked into the courtroom. Then I was thrown off by the fact that my lawyer was cross-eyed and it made me distracted and stumble in front of the judge. Now, Mr. Ober did a great job and was completely professional and I’d recommend his law office to anyone.  And had the associate mentioned it beforehand I would have taken it in stride.

If you work for or socialize with someone with an unusual physical difference do you mention it off-hand to people who are going to meet them? Like, “Dave has decided to tattoo his forehead, but besides that he’s an excellent Dentist.” Or, “my husband was disfigured by a fire as a small child, and he’s joining us for lunch.” (That last one was true too, someone I used to work with. Great guy, but it took a few meetings to see him behind his disfigured face, though I never got past the missing fingers.) “Mr. McClusky has a severe stutter so just hang in there and he’ll make his point eventually.”  “Debbie is butt-ugly but she’s got a great personality if you enjoy pessimistic snark.”

If one has manners one doesn’t pay any attention at all to differences. But it’s hardly fair to throw someone in unprepared isn’t it? Shouldn’t you say something in a not a big deal, matter of fact, this is coming up kind of way? I wouldn’t want the unusual person to be made uncomfortable either. It’s tough enough dealing with your differences without people reacting out of surprise.